Coming of age in community
When I started G Day, it was a nice coincidence that my daughter was about to take her first steps toward adolescence - she was 9 when we held the first G Day in 2014. Yet, it wasn’t why I started this. As an adolescent girl, I craved some form of recognition or welcoming so badly. I had this longing to be initiated - to be taught, seen, and celebrated. I call this desire my ‘inner Margaret’ in homage to Judy Blume’s classic YA novel, Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret. Margaret is an adolescent girl who eagerly anticipates the arrival of puberty and struggles with making sense of her life from a spiritual perspective.
Longing is one thing, however I lacked the vocabulary to ask for what I wanted – it just didn’t exist, and so I let it go. But inner Margarets – like real children – can be tenacious. It took over 30 years, but in 2013 my Margaret came back. I was invited to speak at Pecha Kucha Night in Vancouver in the Spring of 2013. The evening’s theme was ‘Women Transforming Cities’ and I was asked to contemplate how I would change our city if I could. After initially balking at the idea, Margaret showed up with full force and basically said ‘It’s not too late to create what you wanted”. I talked about creating a day where we welcomed girls into what I called ‘the grand feminine mystery’. I hadn’t yet formulated the intention of doing it, but I had a vision, and looking back, it feels like that was the moment of conception. To this day, I am a firm believer in saying your ideas out loud as a literal means to actualizing them. The video is here.
That evening touched off a chain of events that propelled the idea forward. It felt like people were gravitating toward this idea. I dropped into my creative intuition – and imagined what I/Margaret would have wanted at the time: what would have felt special? I imagined a room full of wise adult women who essentially sat me down to share their stories and answer my questions – basically showing me the ropes. Plus a lot of hugs and encouragement. I called on my network of colleagues, friends and peers to be part of it, and they showed up. We heard from celebrants, sexual health experts, dance and yoga instructors, social change leaders, and young women who shared their stories of resilience and overcoming challenges.
We follow the traditional stages of a rite of passage - separation, initiation and return - and incorporate those stages into our planning.
We follow the traditional stages of a rite of passage - separation, initiation and return - and incorporate those stages into our planning.
With the first G Day in 2014, I thought it was just for girls, that it was their day. What our team didn’t realize, and what we’re still learning about, is how much the parents and caregivers wanted to be there. So we started inviting them. It was amazing to see what happened to the adults, who had likely never had this type of experience themselves. They too were carrying their own inner Margaret, longing for this kind of connection. G Day is about community and connecting with other people at a heart centred level.
One of the most powerful moments at G Day is when the girls walk through a passage that we literally create for them with our bodies, often working with existing architectural features of the chosen venue. We invite all of the parents and caregivers to line up on either side of a staircase or hallway, or form a circle, and we sing a simple song, I behold you. We surprise the girls with this ceremony, and everybody – ok, mostly the adults – cries. It’s like we all want to cry. It’s quite something.
At the last G Day, we all ran into a big circle and got tight, tight, tight with each other. We put our left hand on our own heart and our right hand on the back of the person next to us. It’s like we were making a heart sandwich. Your heart was literally being held by the person next to you. It was so profound and yet so simple. There’s magic to all of this, but there’s no real formula. We all want to heal and mark the important things. Throughout this journey, I’ve learned that anyone can do this. I’m not a celebrant and I don’t have any formal training. I’m just a human being who thinks these things matter, and I’m willing to step into what it takes to make it happen.
About G Day
G Day welcomes girls aged 10-12 and celebrates their transition between childhood and adolescence by gathering them in a community-based setting that includes parents and supportive adults in their lives. Launched in 2014, there have been 11 G Days across Canada to date, including in Vancouver, Victoria, Toronto, as well as in partnership with the Squamish Nation. We have welcomed over 2,000 participants.