The Ritual of Giving
I grew up going to church, seeing people come together knowing they were better together than on their own. As I grew older, I moved away from religion and realized I didn’t have anything to replace it with. I wasn’t a part of a community group or a cultural centre, and so I’ve been searching for rituals that bring people together ever since.
When my husband and I got married, we didn’t have a traditional ceremony. There was no family there, only a few close friends - our chosen family - and we stood in a circle. We asked our friends to create the ceremony for us. Earlier, we sat down and wrote out our values - what we wanted our partnership to be based on - and we gave each person at our wedding one of those words. We asked them to say whatever they wanted about that word - we didn’t give them any more direction than that. As they went around and shared, they made us laugh and cry. It was amazing to see us through their lens. It was remarkable because it was a contribution from everybody.
When my husband and I got married, we didn’t have a traditional ceremony. There was no family there, only a few close friends - our chosen family - and we stood in a circle. We asked our friends to create the ceremony for us. Earlier, we sat down and wrote out our values - what we wanted our partnership to be based on - and we gave each person at our wedding one of those words. We asked them to say whatever they wanted about that word - we didn’t give them any more direction than that. As they went around and shared, they made us laugh and cry. It was amazing to see us through their lens. It was remarkable because it was a contribution from everybody.
When we set out to have children, our path was not easy. We adopted three kids and we created a lot of ritual and ceremony around their adoption. When you first sit down with a social worker, it’s literally two strangers coming together and signing the most important documents you’ll ever sign. There’s a common goal to work together in the best interest of the child, but there’s not a lot of ceremony around the process. When we adopted our second child, we invited our 4 year old son to sign the adoption documents with us – we had a place for his name and we all sat around together and signed it. When our third child came, we did the same thing. It felt inclusive, to have them be an active part of growing our family. That was our family coming into life. We also invited their foster parents to join us, because they are part of our story too.
When we celebrate one of our kids’ birthdays, or Mother’s Day, we don’t celebrate alone. We have a moment of gratitude and a toast for their birth moms, whom we’ve never met, and yet we acknowledge that they are a part of our family story too. Our sons have birth sisters who don’t live with us, and when they learned about them they never even blinked – they went right to YAY! We invite their sisters into our life whenever we can – they join in our holiday celebrations and rituals. Even if they’re not all birth related, they know they’re brothers and sisters. So many things separate us in this world – borders, religion, race, age. What you learn from kids is they don’t give a damn about any of that! Children are the open hearts that we all need to learn from.
I also wanted our kids to see that we never know how far our reach will go. Even if it’s only one person you touch, you’ve changed a life in that one moment in some positive way. There’s a ripple effect that takes place. I have no doubt in my mind that we’re all interconnected. Science is now showing that our energy is connected to what we put out into the world. Every atom in our body is energy, and that energy is constantly moving in and around us. We all share one atmosphere, and it’s full of the energy we fill it with.
One of our followers decided to give someone a compliment every single day – that became his ritual. When we talk about giving every day, it’s about being intentional with our energy. Giving is a practice. Giving compassion, kindness and gratitude are all acts of giving, yet if we don’t do it consciously, it doesn’t become a habit or ritual. I like to say my daily give out loud – I’ll be out walking and I’ll decide to do something simple, like picking up a piece of garbage. I’ll recognize that act of giving in the moment, say it out loud, and them move on with my day. We get so busy in our lives that we often forget about the impact we can have. We all have to dos and check lists, work to get done and people to take care of. If you start your day with gratitude and find a way each day to share that gratitude, we really can change the world.
When we started 365give, we wanted to do good for the world, but we didn’t realize how connected our movement was with world happiness. We’re seeing the cost of stress and mental illness on a global scale. People are sick and tired of being sick and tired, and they’re searching for happiness wherever they can find it. What they might not realize is how much their happiness is linked to the lives of others, and that the more connected we are, the better off everyone will be.
When we started 365give, we wanted to do good for the world, but we didn’t realize how connected our movement was with world happiness. We’re seeing the cost of stress and mental illness on a global scale. People are sick and tired of being sick and tired, and they’re searching for happiness wherever they can find it. What they might not realize is how much their happiness is linked to the lives of others, and that the more connected we are, the better off everyone will be.
About Jacqueline Way
Jacqueline is the Executive Director and Founder of 365give, along with her sons Nic, Tyler, and Sterling. Their dream is to inspire people around the world – young and old – to make a better, happier world for everyone. As a family, they have come to learn through their own daily giving practice that if we all do one small thing to give every day – together we will be the change the world needs.
About Jacqueline Way
Jacqueline is the Executive Director and Founder of 365give, along with her sons Nic, Tyler, and Sterling. Their dream is to inspire people around the world – young and old – to make a better, happier world for everyone. As a family, they have come to learn through their own daily giving practice that if we all do one small thing to give every day – together we will be the change the world needs.